Budget Python (Part 3)

Kronos, the Master of All Time and Space
Conclusion

CUT TO:
INT. – NIGHT – KRONOS’S OFFICE
Wide angle shot, up – the phone ‘throbbing’ in the foreground, KRONOS, MOE & EMMETT looking on from a distance. KRONOS, taking the initiative, picks up the receiver.

KRONOS
Talk to me.

KRONOS: A look of alarm crosses his features. He cups his hand over the mouthpiece, gesturing at the phone with his eyes. What’s he implying? MOE and EMMETT don’t get. KRONOS continues, gesturing with increasing assertiveness. They still don’t get it. KRONOS gives up.

KRONOS (cont.)
(a harsh whisper) It’s OVERLORD, KRONOS’S ARCH NEMISIS!

MOE
Well, put him on speaker.

KRONOS presses the speaker button and hangs up the handset.

OVERLORD
Kronos!

KRONOS
See? It's him! We're too late!

OVERLORD
(As OVERLORD speaks, he draws out his “I’s” and “You’s” to emphasize he can say them (much like Ben Stein))
Yes, it's me, Overlord, and it was always too late for you, Kronos! God, I hate that name! The time has come for our battle to be joined, my ancient foe. And, since I am the challenger, by right of the eternal laws, you shall have the say of the location of battle.

KRONOS pulls up a chart of possible locations for Armageddon. They include: The Nexus of Sominus, Venus, Lesbos, Kronopolis, The Denny’s off Rte. 17 in Montclair.

KRONOS
Yes, you, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS!, are right.

OVERLORD
Don't say that!

KRONOS
Well it's not my mind warp that did it, if you, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! will recall.

OVERLORD
Cut it out, Kronos! Just name the place! Shall it be the Rocks of Eternity?

KRONOS
Well, that's as good a place as any.

MOE
No, wait! Make it your office!

KRONOS
Pardon?

MOE
I, MOE GREEN, A MAN WHO OWNS SOME LAND IN JERSEY! said, make the site this office!

OVERLORD
What is this? Kronos, you know as well as I that you will not have a hand up on your home ground. We are equals.

KRONOS puts OVERLORD on ‘hold’.

KRONOS
He's right. No matter where the fight, it is as equals. And I, KRONOS, THE MASTER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE, would rather not mess up my office.

MOE
Just trust me on this.

OVERLORD is taken off ‘hold’.

KRONOS (cont.)
Fine. My office.

OVERLORD
Your office, then. I'm coming through.

CUT TO:
INT. – NIGHT – KRONOS’S OFFICE
Wide-shot:
VFX: The trio on one side as OVERLORD does a negative “beam-in” on the other side. He’s dressed like the villain in a Republic Serial. He is brandishing a wand. He turns to face KRONOS. MOE and EMMETT clear out to the side.

OVERLORD
It's time. Prepare to die.

KRONOS
Ditto.

OVERLORD
Oh, my. I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! am going to enjoy this.

There is a monumental pause as OVERLORD realizes what he has just said.

OVERLORD
No. No. Not that. It can't be possible. I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! couldn't have said ... SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! can't believe this! Damn, how stupid can I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! be! AAARRRGH!

MOE
(To KRONOS) See?

OVERLORD
You, MOE GREEN, A MAN WHO OWNS SOME LAND IN JERSEY! You, MOE GREEN, A MAN WHO OWNS SOME LAND IN JERSEY! did this to me!

KRONOS
Well, no need to get so uptight. You, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! made this mind-warp, surely you, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! can cure it.

OVERLORD
Would you, KRONOS, THE MASTER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE! stop saying that! You, KRONOS, THE MASTER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE! know that I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! made the damn thing so that you, KRONOS, THE MASTER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE! couldn't stop it, so of course it's too powerful for me to cure! Stop laughing, dammit!

ALL OTHERS
Sorry.

OVERLORD
I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! swear, damn!, you haven't won this, KRONOS, THE MASTER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE! I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS!, may, Damn!!, may have been tricked by you, KRONOS, THE MASTER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE! and your analogue but I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! am not, DAMN!!, not down for the count. So get ready, for the battle is still joined, and I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! will, DAMN!!!, will prove to be the ultimate victor! This wand is made of pure destructive energy, built for just one purpose; to destroy a cosmic being. I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! built, DAMN!, built it just for you, KRONOS, THE MASTER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE!, and I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! have, DAMMIT! I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS! have ... I, OVERLORD, KRONOS'S ARCH-NEMESIS!… oh, screw it.

VFX: OVERLORD turns the wand on himself. There is a bright flash, and a lame popping noise. When the smoke clears, all that remains of OVERLORD is a charred cape, which lies smoking on the ground. The others stare in disbelief.

KRONOS
Well. (beat) Chinese, anyone?

MOE
No thanks. I’m meeting my fiancée… Hey! Listen! I. I, I, I! We're cured!

KRONOS
Ah, excellent. Well, Moe, thanks a lot. I not only owe you my domain, but my life as well. You just saved the universe.

MOE
You’re welcome.

KRONOS
Hey, when you die for real, look me up. I may have a job for you.


MOE
I'll do that

MOE exits.

EMMETT
Well, I should be having gone, too.

KRONOS
You knew how it worked out, didn't you?

EMMETT
Yup. You never will had a thing to worry about.

KRONOS
Well, try not to keep me in suspense like that.

EMMETT
Sure. Saw you tomorrow.

KRONOS
Yesterday, you mean.

EMMETT
Whatever.

KRONOS waves the small electronic device at EMMETT again. Another small electronic device type noise is heard, and EMMETT walks backwards out the door, waving hello.

KRONOS
Agnes?

AGNES (v.o.)
Yes, sir?

KRONOS
Kindly see that Mr. Green has a safe flight home.

AGNES (v.o.)
Yes, sir.

KRONOS
Also, hold my calls for the rest of the day. I'd like a little rest for a change.

AGNES (v.o.)
Yes, sir.

KRONOS begins pantomiming casting with rod and reel.

KRONOS
Oh, and one more thing. Agnes, Kronos's trusted secretary who is secretly stealing money from the company?

AGNES (v.o.)
Yes, sir?

KRONOS
You're fired.

End