Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Wind in the Door

232.  297.  171.  82.

Those numbers represent chronologically the rise and fall of the Subway Rambler, my own contribution to the blog space.*  They pretty much also chart the trail of my emotional life over the last four years - probably the most eventful of my life, in many ways.  Although that '82' is somewhat misleading, since it makes it seem like 2010 was the most dire of the years, which isn't true - 2009 takes that crown handily.  2010 was mostly a time of - I'm not going to say 'healing,' but my ass was certainly sling-bound metaphorically for much of the latter half of the year - and that's where things really trailed off.

September through December 2010 was pretty much the busiest I've ever been in my entire life - engaged in full-time work, a raft of freelance and a semester of Calculus.  As is the case with work and school, things got tighter and tighter on both fronts.  Also, I turned 40 in November and rather egotistically insisted on rehearsing three of my own bands to play at my party. Bear in mind that the band with no name had lost our singer back in February, which made that a big if.

And the Rambler - which, in the past, was the release valve - ended up getting the short straw.

But much of what 2010 was about was laying groundwork for the future - and here we are in the future.  I made it through the gauntlet of critical work overload and everyone was mostly happy (the two freelance clients I wasn't keeping happy I opted to simply cut loose, which goes against my ethical code but was necessary for my sanity); I managed to get through Calculus - 'THE Calculus,' if you please - with a seemingly impossible B+ (it took a small army of mathematicians to drive the material into my numerically resistant brain); the birthday party bands (and the party itself) went far better than I'd hoped - and there's video to prove it.

Of course, the groundwork is about what's coming up.  I continue to work, which had been in doubt for some parts around the middle of 2010.  Having passed Calculus, I can now get back to Physics, with classes beginning on the 22nd.  And, miracle of miracles, as a by-product of my drive to have some version of my actual band - now named The Tappan Sea - play at the party, we ended up finding probably the most perfect fit for a singer.  Meaning that all things that I thought were big, gray question marks last year are now answered to my great satisfaction.  And all three will be less difficult to manage individually, and as a whole.

Which means that - hopefully - the Rambler can now come back online in something resembling a regular schedule.  Looking back over some of the 782(!) posts from the last four years, there was a point where I'd gotten polished enough to have the Rambler be genuinely entertaining.  I don't know that I'll be able to get back to those heights any time soon.  But I consider it enough that I write here - my original mission was just to write and not worry about what came out.  Above, I described the Rambler as a release valve.  So we're back to mostly steam while I get my mental house in order.  Apologies, and please bear with me.

If there are any of you left out there: welcome back.


*Note that I refuse to use the term 'blogosphere,' if only because I think that describes the ouroboros of politically themed blogs.  The Rambler is just my brain eating itself.

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