My handy tips on how you, too, can sound just like the anti-avuncular host of the Saturday Show & Sunday Show, as heard on WNYC:
Tips for the DIY Jonathan Schwartz impression:
1) As much lip smacking as possible, as if you were broadcasting from the depths of the Gobi.
1a) And keep it low and husky.
2) Remember: your opinion is FACT.
3) Speak slowly, and reiterate endlessly. ("This great work... this masterpiece... if you will...")
4) Don't hold that emphasis in reserve. You've got eight hours of airtime to fill every weekend, so liven it up with pause and inflection for effect ("This great WORK... this MASTERpiece... if you WILL...")
5) No anecdote should have an end or a point.
6) As George Carlin notes about his Ed Sullivan impression: it's not so much how accurate your vocal stylings are - it's all in the bizarreness of the act. Your typical Schwartz anecdote begins with a rambling quasi-history of the song/artist, which then morphs into a defensive insistence that you know how to use email - or something like that.
Putting it all together:
"Frank SINatra... ladies and gentlemen... does it GET any BETTER?... (slurp) ...a recording... not heard for... oh... 1972... forty YEARS... with a superb Nelson Riddle arrangement... Octopus's GARDEN. Locked away... unseen by human EARS in ... TWO generations... A song my FATHER called, ... he considered it 'pure melodic diamond SOUP.'... (slurp) Now... here's something WONDERful... Maude Maggart with... a beautiful... REVELATORY... version of 'Brand New KEY'... (slurp)"